I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i think my cat just said my name.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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