I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
