I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
