I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
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Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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