Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
