My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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