you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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