My room smells like vodka and shame
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
