I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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