It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
