her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
its not stalking. its research.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
