That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
