Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize