Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
