Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
