I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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