I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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