Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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