Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
