it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
