I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
