Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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