Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
