Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
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It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
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I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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