If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
