Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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