Define "chronic" masturbator.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
My orgasm happened in two different decades
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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