I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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