Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
we should paint friendship bongs
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
