i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
