last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
