Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
