i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
