She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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