The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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