U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
