You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I wish my penis had an off switch
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
