This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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