ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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