worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
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make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
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There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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