9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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