It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize