She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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