I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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