There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It's shark week go big or go home
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
