I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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