cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
