Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
