It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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