physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
