he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Terrible idea I love it
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
