I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I love you. Go after that dick
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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