Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
