Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
