I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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