The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
