Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
